| I feel like I've been away for 2 weeks o_o;;
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| I've just about had enough. So today I had my orientation for a job my mom wants me to take at the hospital where she works. A "paid" volunteer job... sounded too good to be true. Anyway, my mom made me give up an internship at State Street bank that I worked really hard on getting on my own (with the help of the school PIC office) for that "paid" volunteer job at the VA. Well today I found out its not paid. Just a volunteer job. I don't know... I feel betrayed. I feel like my mom lied to me to get me to take the job at the VA instead. I mean, I would have gladly done it on weekends if she had let me take the internship too, so now I should feel angry right? A useless emotion... but maybe if I showed it more often I wouldn't be such a pushover. Is my nature just... too sweet?
At dinner, my mom and dad were pestering me about what I want to take in college and stuff. Yeah, general dinnertime conversation. I know what I'm capable of doing, and I can see many possibilities for me in the future. I know it shouldn't effect me when other people talk down to me, but it's a different story when it's your own parents. My parents keep saying that I'm going to become a teenage mother (HELLO! I'm still like.. extra virgin olive oil >.>) or a drug addict or something. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ME? I don't think so. Hopefully you guys don't think so either ><. Its just... discouraging to face them every day knowing that they think I'm going to waste my opportunities like that.
A friend once told me that I should stand up to my parents, but it's just not in me. My idea of a good daughter does not talk back to her parents. However, in my parents' eyes I am probably already a bad daughter, so why the hell shouldn't I say something? It's just... not in me. Both parents... valedictorians of their high school and college classes... what could I say that would have any lasting effect on them? I know they can hear me crying sometimes... they don't do anything. Simply put, they can't change the way they are. It's in their nature to put me down and I should get used to it. Maybe their words have some truth in them?
In other news, my mom won't let me get my summer reading books until I get my driving permit. Great... this time the procrastination is not my fault.What I do know is that I feel semi-horrible-ish right now so I'm going to go try to chill my nerves. Sorry for this long rant... don't worry about me. I can take care of myself (I hope),
"I'm breathing in a faraway place, it seems like I've become transparent. And though I think I'm in the dark, I've only been blindfolded. Nobody knows who I really am. I've never felt this empty before, and if I ever need someone to come along. Whose gunna comfort me and keep me strong?"
-Life is like a boat, Rie Fu
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| I was asleep between 4PM-3AM o_o;;
In other news, half days! This should be fun ^^.
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| Goodbye class of '07!
Quite fun. I got to play for the graduation ceremony this year! I got to see my bro get his diploma and everything. People were surprised to hear that I even had a brother o_o; ("omg thats rachel's brother!"). Anyhoo, I have work to do and people to meet, and miles to go before i sleep. (Sorry, couldn't resist. It was on the final after all!)
7 DAYS O_O;;
//edit 061207-
it's Sunday, May 27, 2007 all over again.
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